Chapter 86

word count 1205

Trudy stuffed the last of the sandwich in her mouth and swiped residual mayo off her lips with the back of her hand.

"Well, that Mrs. Dunn may be a pain in the ass, but she makes a dynamite ham sandwich."

"I know. Why do you think I hired her!" Buzz said the words in a conspiratorial fashion, leaning close and whispering.

Trudy laughed. It was good to be back in his good graces again. But as much as they were having a good time, the big guy had a sadness about him.

"Buzz, hon, aren't you happy I'm here?" she asked.

He shot her a tiny smile. "Of course, I am, babe! It's just I have a lot on my mind."

"Yeah, me too. My ass hole husband is threatening to take Elly from me." She blurted it out without thinking. The idea had been buzzing around in her head ever since it happened. Always there, always reminding her.

"Is that right? The state already has taken Adam from me. It happened today."

"Buzz, you're kidding! Why?"

He shot her a worried glance. "Adam hates me." He paused, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "I wasn't the kindest to his mother. He saw me yell at her and hit her many times. So long story short, he poisoned not only me, but his mom and Mrs. Dunn, too. When the state learned that, they felt it would be best to remove him from my home."

"Oh Buzz, I'm so sorry! I knew a little about it from...Gil..." She hated to mention the other man, but he was history as far as she was concerned anyway, cavorting with that uniformed chick. "But Gil only mentioned a little of it, hon."

"So what's your story? Why is John trying to take away Elliot?"

"Do I even need to explain? Have ya noticed I do a little drinkin'?"

"Yeah!" Buzz laughed. "So do I! Is it any wonder we drink like we do?" He laughed, but next got sad again. "What do you intend to do about John?"

"Buzz, I don't have a clue."

"Yeah, I guess the courts will decide. That's a helluva thing, ain't it? The courts making decisions about families. The same thing is happening to me really. The government's got its face right in my house, poking around, and shouting orders."

"Yeah, why can't they stay out of our business, huh?"

"Damn right? Hey, you got any juice in that pretty little flask of yours?"

"I sure do, Buzz, honey!"

"Fill me up!" Buzz said, pushing his coffee cup in front of her. "And then, once my tank if filled up, I'll search around here and find us some more. Mrs. Dunn has hid all my stash, but I'll find it."

Mrs. Dunn stood just outside the door. "Oh dear," she murmured. "Now I have two of them on my hands."

***

Adam lay in bed switching through the TV channels with the remote. Nothing suited him. He was bored. At least he was out of the ICU now, but still, this place was a drag. A slight tap at the door caught his attention. He looked over and saw a man standing there.

Another guy in a lab coat, he thought. I hope it's not more needles.

"Hi Adam, may I come in? I'm Dr. Travis."

"I don't care. Do what you want!"

"Well, as I really do want to talk with you, I believe I'll come in."

Adam studied the intruder. He was tall, like a string bean. And he had a balding head, but also a mustache and a goatee, grown as if he was trying to make up for the loss of hair on top. He reached into a starched white coat to get his glasses, and settled in a nearby chair. Opening his notebook, he got comfortable, crossing his legs to rest the little book on his thigh like a desk. Next he pulled a tiny black recorder out of another pocket and placed in on Adam's bedside table.

"Do you mind if I record our little talk?" he asked.

"What for?"

"Well, our talk is very important to me, and I may not remember everything, so I'd like to have a recording to refer to. Is that all right?"

"I don't care."

"So, let's talk about why you're here. That's a nasty cut on your wrist? Why on earth did you do that?"

Adam looked at the guy. Up until now, nobody had bothered to ask him about the cut directly like this. He kind of thought they had just assumed he deliberately wanted to hurt himself which wasn't true. Everybody had been buzzing around him and nobody was asking him anything.

"I wanted to cut my arm. I've done it a couple of times. It feels good. But when I did it this time, something went wrong. It started bleeding and it wouldn't stop."

"The doctor looked up from his notebook in surprise. "You mean you were attempting to cut yourself for pleasure, and not to hurt yourself."

"Yes, sir."

"Where on earth did you learn about cutting?"

Adam panicked. His little heart beat double time. He didn't want to squeal on Elliot. "A friend of mine," he stammered.

The doctor didn't seem to care who taught him. He moved on. "What happened to make you want to cut yourself? Were you nervous, angry? What?"

Adam thought about it. "I guess I was mad because my dad brought some woman home. I didn't want some woman there. Was she going to be mother? She's not my mother. My mother died. No one can be her."

"I don't know what your daddy thought. But I'll find out for you, I promise. And if he does want her to be your mother, I will advise him to take your feelings into consideration." He paused, and then leaned forward.

"Adam, it's always better to talk to someone about your feelings than to bottle them up until you have to do something dangerous to free your mind from them, like cutting. You stuffed your feelings in and they grew bigger and bigger because you worried so much and got mad--when you should have just talked to your dad about it as soon as it happened. Do you understand me?"

"Yeah, but you don't know my dad."

"Let's talk about him. How does he make you feel?"

"MAD. He makes me mad. I think he killed my mom with the way he hit her and yelled at her. I think it made her sick."

Adam's reaction was so strong, it startled Dr. Travis. He looked up at Adam and next wrote furiously in his notebook. Finally, he stopped writing and studied the boy.

"Adam, is that why you put the oleander in the mayonnaise? Because you were angry at your dad? Because he hit your mom and made her sick?"

"Yeah, I wanted to kill him! But I never thought my mom would eat it and Mrs. Dunn, too! They weren't supposed to eat it. I never realized they would. You have to believe me, sir. I never realized they would."

"I do see that, son. I do."