chapter 79

word count: 2029

adam just stood there,, mouth agape as trudy made her way down the hall and into what had once been his parents’ bedroom. his beloved mother gone less than a month,, and his father had already not only brought another woman into the house (never mind that it was elliot’s mother at that) and invited her to paw through his mother’s clothes?? giving her permission to take whatever she wanted?? all of this was more than he could bare.. 

he had to get out of here,, and he had to get out of here now!!!

“i’m going to my room.” he stated emotionlessly,, so as not to give away the fact that he was quickly racing past the point of total and complete disgust.

“now?” asked buzz. “i thought we could hang out and have a little man to man talk while trudy is taking her shower.”

adam couldn’t even answer.. he just pushed past his father,, and headed down the hall toward his room.. 

‘that fucking son of a bitch!!’ adam couldn’t help thinking to himself, as he closed the door to his room,,  slamming it behind him.. once safely behind the closed door,, adam could no longer hold back the tears.. tears of anger,, frustration,, and all the accumulated sadness he felt as a result of having lost his mother.. he hadn’t really let himself cry.. until now.. the tears ran silently down his cheeks until he buried his face in his pillow.. and that is when the sobbing began.. 

body racked with burning tears,, and utter desperation,, adam laid on the bed,, his face smothered in his pillow for what seemed like an eternity.. it was not until he heard the clickity clack of trudy, wearing what could only have been his mother’s shoes,, pass by his bedroom door,, that the tears dried up and were replaced by an all-encompassing rage.. 

“buzz honey?” he heard trudy sing out as she pranced down the hall toward the living room..

“buzzy,,can you help me with this zipper?”

as the bile rose thick in adam’s throat,, he launched himself off the bed,, and fell to his knees above the tin sponge bob trash can that stood next to his desk..  he gagged and lurched,, but had nothing of substance to vomit..  his body continued to convulse with dry heaves,, until every muscle  felt as if it was under attack.. 

slowly the contractions subsided,, and adam was able to crawl to the chair by his desk.. weakly,, he pulled himself up into the chair and turned on his computer.. he clicked on the game consul, and the games start up music began to play.. unable to even care what game was playing,, he turned up the volume and began rummaging through the desk drawers.. 

there had to be something,, anything that was sharp enough to cut a deep wide slash in his arm,, something that would allow him to release some of the pain and anger that was currently filling him to overflowing.. but alas,, in utter frustration,, he accepted the fact that there was nothing suitable in any of the desk drawers.. leaning back in utter defeat and once again on the verge of tears,, his gaze fell upon the small mason jar that he kept his marbles in.. 

the prospect of watching a sharp shard of glass digging deep into the soft flesh of his arm,, gave him the strength to cross the room and open his sock drawer.. he withdrew a neatly rolled pair of white tube socks.. he  hastily inserted one sock into the other before placing the small mason jar inside the white cotton tube,, and bringing his spiderman paperweight down,, hard.. 

he carefully held the sock in one hand,, while he dug deep into the bottom of it,, and withdrew a sharp angular piece of the clear broken glass.. dropping the socks and what was left of the mason jar into the bile filled trash can,, he cut a deep jagged path up his forearm,, from the wrist to the middle of his pale white arm.. the blood began to spout out of his arm,, not just a trickle this time,, but a thick stream that pulsed and spewed blood all over him,, his desk and his computer with every beat of his heart.. 

instead of the deep rush of calm adam had expected to experience when he drew the sharply pointed piece of glass over the soft flesh of his arm,, a feeling of panic took over.. this was not what he had been expecting.. this was way too much blood.. adam became acutely aware that something had gone terribly wrong.. 

a part of him wanted to run out of his room and show his father what he had done..  but another, even stronger force,, kept him put..  he put his hand over the spouting crimson gash,, and pressed hard,, as he made his way across the room and found a discarded tee shirt.. he wrapped it tightly around his wrist,, and watched as the steady stream of blood saturated the thin weave of cotton.. 

he had just settled into the soft folds of his bed,, when he heard the door bell and then a rush of people enter the house.. voices raised,, then muffled,, a cacophony of heavy footsteps pounded down the hall,, and stopped just outside his bedroom door.. 

bang! bang! bang! he heard heavy fists crashing down on his bedroom door..

“adam!! adam!! open this fucking door!!!” it was his father.. and he was pissed.. 

a cold sweat arose on his brow,, as he heard the door come crashing in.. it was his father,, his uncle hank,, and two uniformed police officers.. 

“holy fucking christ!!” buzz screamed out when he saw the blood soaked rag wrapped around adam's wrist..

“get a bus!!” hank screamed out,, as one of the uniforms grabbed adam’s arm,, yanked it into the air above his head,,  and applied  firm pressure,, his thickly muscled hand wrapped tightly around adams tiny little boy wrist.. 

adam was quickly slipping out of consciousness.. the last thing he heard was his father drop to his knees next to the bed.. 

“jesus help me!!” his father was crying out.. “please god!! help me!! save my boy!!”

***

lisa had made a beeline for john’s house as soon as she left the miller home.. she was filled to overflowing by the time john answered the door,, and was barely inside before she spewed,, “it’s trudy,, she’s not only out,, but she is at buzz millers house!!!”

“calm down.. calm down, baby.” john admonished her as he guided her to the sofa.. “calm down and tell me what’s going on.”

“my dad,, he called and asked me if i could sit with adam for a few minutes while he met buzz at the precinct.. so i went over there,, and no sooner had i got settled in,, and the door opened.. it was buzz,, with trudy hanging off his arm..” she stopped only to take a deep breath.. 

“oh my god john!!  she looked like shit!! filthy,, makeup all running down her face,, but holding onto buzzes arm like she was dressed to the nines! you should have seen her when she saw me!! if looks could kill!!” lisa gushed.. 

john listened carefully,, as his thoughts raced,, trying to make sense of it all.. 

“so then?? what??  buzz must have bailed her out??” 

“i guess so.. i mean,, i didn’t hang around long enough to find out any of the details,, but it looked like that to me..” lisa stated.. “i mean,, what else would she be doing there??”

“ok. ok. john stated trying to remain calm.. 

“well at least he didn’t bring her here and drop her off..” he said,, searching for the positive in a sea of negativity that was quickly filling his brain with ‘what if’s’..  

john,, lost in thought,, was quickly brought back into the moment by the simultaneous ringing of lisa’s cell phone,, and his land line.. 

“holy fuck!” he exclaimed. “what if it’s her??”

“don’t answer it!!” lisa called out as she extricated her phone from the depths of her purse and tapped the screen. 

“it’s my dad. i gotta take this”

“hey daddy!” 

as johns land line continued to ring,, the color drained quickly from lisa’s cheeks.. 

“yeah,, yeah,, i’m right here,, i hear you,, i just don’t know what to say.” lisa was whispering into the phone as she motioned for john to pick up his phone..

john noticed lisa was visibly shaken,, but heeded her advice and yanked the receiver off its base.. 

“hello?” he called tentatively into the phone.

“trudy? where are you? what the hell is going on?”

a moment of dead silence passed before john exclaimed, “he what?? what do you mean he cut his wrists?"

"wrist,, wrists what the hell is the difference!! what happened?? is he gonna be ok??”

“we’ll, um, i mean, i’ll be right there!!” john yelped into the phone as he clicked off the call and dropped the receiver limply onto the couch.. 

“ok daddy,, ok.. i will.. i’ll go right over there..” lisa said breathlessly into her cell.. 

“yes daddy,, yes,,  i love you too..”  she concluded the call and stared blankly at john as she tapped the screen and disconnected the call.. from the look on john’s face,,  it was evident he had just heard the same devastating news.. 

“holy fuck!!” john exclaimed as he noticed elliot perched on the stairwell,, evidently trying to figure out what all the hub bub was about..

“el,” john said in a washed out tone,, “something terrible has happened.. it’s adam.. he’s slashed his wrist.. your mom says he tried to kill himself.”

“my mom?” elliot queried.

“yes, your mom.. i guess she was at the millers house when it happened.."

“what was she doing…”

john cut him off,  “we’ll get to the bottom of that later,, right now i have to get to the hospital.”

john turned to lisa, “could you?? i mean could i ask you to..”

“of course.. of course i will stay here with elliot.. that is exactly what my dad was calling to ask me to do..” lisa said as she crossed the floor and climbed up the stairs to take a seat next to elliot.. 

she attempted to take his hand in hers,, but he shook her off and inched as far away from her as the narrow step would allow..  

“i wanna go!” elliot protested.. “he’s my best friend, not yours!! i ought to be there!! not you!!” 

“i know,, buddy,, i know.” john tried to sooth elliot’s angst with his calm, firm tone.. 

“as soon as i find out what’s going on,, i will come get you,, i promise..  you're right..you’re right,, you should be there.."

elliots face burned red.. “fuck you!!” he screamed out at john, as he jumped to his feet and ran up the stairs,, slamming his bedroom door shut behind him.. 

“he’ll be alright.” lisa assured john. “ i got this,, you just go..”

as john fumbled with his shoes,, the land line began to ring again.. without hesitation,, lisa picked up the phone.

“hello?” she answered meekly..

“what the fuck are you doing in my house?” screamed an irate trudy,, her shrill voice reaching clear across the room.

“i thought i told you to get out,, and stay out!! you fucking whore!!” trudy could be heard screeching as lisa returned the phone to its dock,,  effectively silencing the call.. 

“i better get elliot and take him to my house.. “ she informed john as she made her way to the stairs.. 

his mind reeling,, john was at a loss for words.. 

“lisa!” he called out after her as she ascended the stairwell. 

lisa stopped,, stooped down and peered out from under the half wall that separated the stairs from the living room..

“lisa,"  started john,, his voice suddenly dripping with sincerity. 

“lisa,, lisa,, i love you!”

before lisa could acknowledge, let alone answer johns most heartfelt revelation,, john slipped silently out of the front door,, leaving it ajar,, as the screen door slammed closed behind him..