chapter 58

word count 1605

"Walk with me, sweetie! And I'll show you the error of your ways!" Sadie winked and stretched out one arm in welcome while offering a slight bow from the waist.

Jake gawked at the wild woman, his heart already sunk into the churning abyss of his upset stomach. His mind tried to wrap around his sudden realization about "it." To his alarm, his hands trembled, slower then faster, and he had no means to control it. His fevered mind was taking over his body, and said consciousness was in total revolt.

"Come on, hon!" Sadie urged again. She shot him an upturned smile, repulsive with yellow teeth and black spots where teeth should be.

Jake grappled with his problem. This wacko had "it" in her cart. She knew what he did, and the kooky lady appeared to be as stable as, well, a nuclear explosion. If "it" got out and/or she talked about it to someone and the cops came looking, he was in deep shit.

But how in the hell did she get a hold of "it" anyway? He laid that thought aside to consider the immediate danger of his being found out. He had to get rid of Sadie, and once and for all he had to get rid of "it." There seemed nothing more he could do, but stick by her long enough dispose of them both. With a weak smile, he threw his arms up and said, "Okay, Sadie! Lead the way."

"Okay, let's go!" She slammed two hands on the shopping cart and started to push. "You comin'?" she added when at first he didn't follow.

Jake felt glued in place. His feet couldn't start, riveted to the ground in this other-worldly scenario. The smell, the woman, the thing in the shopping cart...he had never thought that he, for one, could ever be repulsed by anything. But this time he was! The distraught guy swiped the back of his hand across his mouth and stared at the homeless woman while beating back heart palpitations and nausea. Finally, he took the first step. His legs felt like noodles under him. They wobbled, threatening to drop him to ground.

"Step it up, buster!" Sadie said. This time she acted neither coy nor pleasantly engaging. Her patience was running out and those eyes of hers were getting that faraway look again. He increased his momentum and tried to get a rhythm going, first one foot, then the other.

"There you go!" Sadie picked up her pace, the shopping cart rattling and squeaking a macabre tune under the strain.

Jake bit his lower lip and struggled to keep up. It got to the point where he found he could sprint like an automaton, abandoning all thought and simply lifting legs and feet. The crazy lady led him into town square where the streets were lined with trees and businesses were open and doorways queued with people. Jake cringed at the thought of running into other people. He wished they could just rush through and come out on the other side, free of the noise and clatter and staring faces. It took an effort to stop when Sadie made an abrupt halt in front of a TV store window.

Jake stopped, but proceeded to tap his foot in anxiety as he spied a group of middle-aged women walking toward them. Panicked, he spun on his heel and took two long steps away from Sadie. He could only hope they didn't link him with her. He didn't need witnesses seeing him anywhere near her or "it" in the cart. The group walked by, quickening their pace when they got near Sadie and her smelly baggage. Small wonder, Jake thought.

"Pay attention, slug! You see that TV in the window?"

He moved back in place and redirected his attention to the store front.

"This is where I learned all about you!" she said with pride in her voice. Sadie pointed at a TV facing out the window, turned on, and in full view. "There's no sound, but when the news is on, they put enough footage and captions to look and understand the story, in this case, your story. They showed a picture of 'it' in better times. Plus, they showed your picture, or at least the latest 'look' they thought you had, with your name captioned underneath."

Jake stared at the screen, then back to Sadie.

"Now we can go to my digs!" she said.

"Oh, I don't think so! Let me take you to one of my 'special' places instead," Jake retorted. His heart raced as he tried to catch up with all the crazy lady was throwing at him, and make a plan.

"Certainly not! Who's in charge here? Okay, champ! Let's go!" Sadie said it like a drill sergeant. "To my place. I'm not interested in where you want to go."

The wheels whined and squeaked as she pushed the cart. Jake watched her go, contemplating what to do next. He needed to get rid of her. Was there any choice but to keep up with the wacko? If she got away from him, he'd never be able to find her again. So he broke out into his sprint, surprised at how well he had adapted to moving along, even with the repulsive "it" in the cart. On some level, he had accepted it. Unbelievable! He ran a hand through his hair, wondering how much weirder it could get.

They walked away from the busy area and strolled toward a more quiet, wooded place along the edges of the little town. Sadie hummed as she pushed her belongings, an indecipherable tune that soon grated on Jake's nerves. He plotted how to kill her as he walked. He had a knife, but to be truthful, that was risky. The woman was so crazed, he wouldn't put it past her to acquire super-human strength if provoked. If he didn't get a “kill stab” in, she could turn on him bad.

Her voice broke into his murderous plans.

"We're almost there! Look!" She pointed with a dirt-blackened index finger to a body of water running parallel to the town. "That's Big Bear River," she said.

Big Bear! That was where he dumped "it" in the first place! He never guessed the river ran this far  south from where he'd originally deposited the body. Jake's head felt ready to explode.

"You have probably been wondering how I came to possess your little secret thing!" Sadie stopped walking and turned to face him. They had arrived at the river, and now stood along the shore. The waters rushed in rapid currents, racing to parts unknown. "The current brought your 'secret' right to me. It got washed up on those rocks!" Trudy said, pointing.

Jake surveyed the area. She pointed to an array of craggy rocks that jutted in a zig zag pattern a good distance out into river. What were the chances the current would pick up the body and dump  here in front of Sadie?  Karma bites, he pondered.

Jake rocked on his heels, taking store of the situation. What a place this was! By the time you traveled out of town  and walked this far, the busy streets were replaced by a forest. He heard birds shuffling through the trees and felt sun warming his head. A pretty place to die, he thought.

"Let me show you where I live!" Sadie said. She gave the cart a good push, and it squeaked on a journey to go further down the shore. They left the trees behind and soon walked on mud and grass, following the course of the Big Bear, until a tiny shack nestled back from the shore came into view. "Shack" would be too kind of a word. Rather it was a dwelling pieced together by stacking bits and pieces to provide shelter from the weather. Jake spied an old barrel, pieces of plywood, cardboard, even a sheet  covering part of the structure. All of that was draped over in a thin plastic sheet. 

So this was where Sadie lived. It was all very close to the river. He assumed she used the running currents for her water supply. The remains of a campfire were visible in the "front yard." Jake studied the situation and considered his options. Lucky for him, the area was desolate, no one to see anything. Whatever he did, it had to be quick and thorough. Push her in the river? Shove her in a campfire to a painful, fiery death? Certainly he would push the whole shopping cart into the river regardless of how he handled her.

"Hey, sucker! Watcha' thinkin'? How to get rid of me?"

Sadie's voice made him jump. It was shrill, fevered, and disconcertingly out-of-control. He turned to see the lady pointing her 9mm at him.

Something snapped inside. He'd reached his breaking point with this wacko, lunging at her, arms flailing, teeth bared, an animal growl emanating from his curled lips. He landed on the homeless lady with a thump, sending the gun flying, and a struggle began.

The little lady had considerable strength, and with an oomph she gave him a shove that sent the fellow flying. He slammed against the shopping cart, sending it on its own journey. What neither of them noticed was that the cart had taken off with a momentum all its own, down a slope and back towards town at record speed.

chapter 57

word count: 1632

if it hadn’t been for the stench,, jake might have been able to convince himself this absurdity that called itself sadie was just a demented figment of his imagination.. however the effluvium that emanated from her, and her little shopping cart of horrors, was indisputable.

jake pushed himself as far away from her as the doors to the church at his back would allow him to get..

“and i’m gonna be glad to meet you , why?” he inquired indifferently,,  as he endeavored to take short shallow breaths in effort to avoid inhaling the befouled air that was quickly enveloping him like a noxious cloud.

“that is for me to know,, and you to find out.” sadie teased as she straightened the black fish net like veil that hung loosely over her penetrating black eyes..

“i got no time for games, lady.” jake informed her abruptly,, as he slid up the door of the church and into a standing position,, fully intending to make a hasty get away..

“not so fast, lover boy.. not so fast.” sadie instructed him.. “i seen you on the news.. you’re all over the news ya know.. “

no, he hadn’t known,, but he had surmised as much..

“what news?” jake tried to sound aloof,, as he swiped at the beads of sweat that were quickly collecting on his brow.

“don’t play stupid with me, pretty boy,, you ain’t hidin’ nothin’ behind those golden locks of yours.”

“whatever.” jake feigned disinterest, as he made a move toward the steps of the church.. as he moved closer to her,, the pungency that permeated the expanse of air that surrounded this thing that called itself sadie and that shopping cart of hers, threatened to cut off his wind completely..

“hold it right there!” barked sadie, as an undeniable flash of chrome, appeared from somewhere deep within the folds of her person..

she leveled what appeared to be a chrome plated 9mm semi-automatic,, with near expert precision..

“whoa! whoa! whoa!” jake stammered. “take it easy! no need to get all upset here.”

“step back, and sit down.” sadie ordered him,, as she drove him back against the churches dark wooden doors, with a wave of the gun in his direction.

jake followed her instructions methodically,, never taking his eyes off the gleaming fire arm sadie so adeptly kept trained on him.. when he felt the hardwood door at his back,, he slipped slowly to the ground, and gathered his legs close to his chest as if they might afford him some level of protection.

“don’t play dumb with me. you know exactly what i’m talking about..” sadie seethed as she took a step forward and rested the business end of the gun on jakes clammy forehead.

“ok! ok! ok! so let’s just say you did see me on the news.” jake sputtered as the incendiary heat that emanated from his forehead warmed the cold steel muzzle of the gun..

“oh i saw ya.. i saw ya alright.. and so did a million other people. and that my friend,, is why you are gonna be awfully glad you up with met me- first.” sadie put a great deal of emphasis on the word ‘first’.. 

“ ok. ok. ok. ya got me.” jake confessed. “and if you’ll just take that gun offa me,, i am sure we can work this out.. “

a snaggle toothed smile further contorted sadie’s already gruesome features. 

“oh we are gonna work this out.. you see,, i got something that belongs to you.. and believe you, me,, when you find out what it is,, you are gonna be willing to do whatever it takes to get it back.”

an involuntary urge to vomit racked jakes body mercilessly in sharp, painful waves.. he gagged uncontrollably,, bitter tasting bile quickly filling his mouth,, cascading down his chin,, and soaking the front of his already sweat soaked tee.

‘no way! no fucking way!’ jake contested silently, what was only now beginning to reveal itself to him.. 

the inescapably, odoriferous evidence enveloped him,, swallowing him whole,, erasing any feeble speculation his own diabolical mind was trying to interject otherwise.

there was no doubt.. she had “it”.. somewhere hidden beneath the seemingly innocuous cover of  rumpled clothing and not yet devoured oreo cookies,, she had “it”..

the only question that remained,, was what did she intend to do with “it”?

***

immediately upon her arrival, john led lisa upstairs to elliot’s room,, where they proceeded to knock on the door and gleefully announce their arrival.. 

“hey guys look who’s here to see ya!”  john proclaimed , a distinct lilt of jubilance in his voice..

“hi guys, “ lisa called cheerfully through the still closed door.. “it’s me , lisa!!”

the sound of two boys scuffling about,, drawers being opened and banged closed,, and hushed whispers preceded the opening of the door.. when they finally did open the door,, neither of them looked too happy about the prospect of visitors.

“hi lisa.” elliot said flatly..  “what do you guys want?”

adam peeked out from behind elliot, keeping a safe distance between him and that lady he did not want to go home with.. 

“you know,” john said casually, “just wanted to drop in and see how things are going.” 

 

the boys remained silent.

“hi back there!” lisa chimed in,, as she waved and smiled at adam.. 

“hi.” expressionless,, adam returned neither the smile nor the wave.. 

“ok guys,, just wanted to say hello.. go back to your games, or whatever.. me and lisa are gonna have cup a coffee or something.. we’ll be right downstairs if you need us..” john put an end to what was quickly revealing itself as very uncomfortable, one sided conversation.. 

without a word, elliot stepped back and shut the door.. 

“well i guess they told us, huh?” john smiled at lisa,, trying to make light of the cold brush off they had both just been given.. 

“i guess so!!” lisa answered, as she followed john down the stairs through the living room and into the kitchen.. 

“so what’ll it be, dear lady, would you prefer coffee,, or a more adult beverage?”

“i’d love a drink,” started lisa, "but i have to pick erik up soon,, and i have a strict rule about drinking and driving.”

‘ah!! a woman with some kind of morals!’ john thought to himself, as he nearly skipped off in the direction of the coffee pot.

“so then coffee it is!!” he proclaimed. all the while thinking about what a stroke of luck it had been that he and lisa had crossed paths.

“so what do you think, john? do you think adam is doing ok?  i mean do you think he is opening up to elliot?? getting some of his frustrations with his father off his chest??

“he’s fine!!” john exclaimed. “now don’t you go worrying  your pretty little head about it.. he’s gonna be fine.. kids have a way of bouncing back in the face of adversity.. i am sure by the time his parents are released from the hospital, he will have forgotten all about any animosity he may have held for his father.. hes a kid!! he’ll be fine!!”

“god i hope your right.” lisa said a bit uneasily.. 

“well sure i am!!” assured john as he deftly brought the conversation around to what he really wanted to be talking about."

“wadda ya say we let boys be boys, and you tell me a little bit about yourself instead,, you know,, change the subject,, try to get adam and his problems off your mind?”

“i guess you’re right,, my dad always says i worry too much.. and he is usually right!” lisa’s spirits seemed to be lifting.. 

“a little bit about myself? like what?? what do you want to know?"

“you tell me..” john said in the sincerest of tones,, as he gazed longingly at this ever so beautiful creature that had breathed a new life into his ever so frustrating existence..  

john broke his telltale gaze,, as he didn’t want lisa to get the wrong idea, but even that could not conceal the fact that he was beaming with delight at just having lisa in his presence.. she was just so , so, well,, just so different from trudy.. feminine.. kind of innocent.. you know, the kind of woman a guy could bring home to meet his mother.. she was exactly the kind of woman he had always pictured himself to end up with. well,, that was before that fateful night he found himself being devoured in trudy’s bed,, the night that had completely changed his whole outlook on life.. that is,, until he met lisa..

“well,” started lisa, “there’s not a whole lot to tell.. i’m thirty six.. divorced.. have a beautiful son,, erik,,  that i love very much..” her voice trailed off.. she looked up at john.. 

their eyes met,, and after a moment of awkward moment of silence, john said, “why don’t you tell me a little bit about lisa.. what does she want?? what does she need? what does she dream?”

“wow!” lisa exclaimed, caught more than just a little bit off guard.. no one had ever asked her those questions before. her ex-husband had pretty much taken it upon himself to decide what she wanted, what she needed, and what she was supposed to be dreaming about.. 

“wow!” she repeated. “gosh,, i don’t even know if i know how to answer that!”

“well i’ll make it easy on ya.. i’ll start.” john said trying to put her a little bit more at ease..  

for some reason,, john had the distinct feeling that this was his one big chance- chance at what?? he wasn't really sure.. but, he’d be damned if he was gonna blow it!!!

Chapter 56

word count 1460

The nurse had helped both Jeannie and Buzz into chairs side by side.  And now, the two watched TV just like at home.

"So these are soap operas, huh? I dunno," Buzz said. "There's an awful lot of crying, isn't there? I'm just not used to being away from work and looking at TV during the day."

"Oh, I'm sure there is something here for you to like," Jeannie said. Clicking furiously, she used her remote to surf through the channels. "Let's see...oh! How 'bout this soap, Buzz!"

He spied a bedroom scene and leaned forward in the chair. Sultry music filled his earphone and the scene on TV caught his attention. "Now this is interesting!"

"Soaps always have a little spice, dear!" Jeannie said it matter-of-factly as she laid the remote down and settled in to watch.

"Hmmph!"

Buzz's eyes remained riveted to the screen.  He didn't notice Hank Bower walk in. Jeannie saw him first.

"Hank, how are you?"

"A better question is how are you? I went to the ICU first, and they told me you were transferred to a semi-private room...Hi, boss!" He waved a hand at Buzz.

"Bower!" Buzz responded while grappling for the remote to demolish the embarrassing soap opera on the screen.

"Hank, I've missed seeing you! I used to enjoy our daily rides for therapy." Jeannie's face had brightened up considerably as soon as Hank entered the room. Now she smiled nonstop.

"I missed them, too! You look wonderful. I'm so glad I decided to stop by." Hank pulled over a chair and sat next to Jeannie. He took her hands in his.

Buzz watched their interaction in annoyance. Since when did Jeannie get so happy to see another man? And since when was Hank Bower Mr. Congeniality? Where was that detective who always used few words, mostly grunts, and was all business? What in the world had been going on between these two during those rides everyday anyway?

But before he had time to finish the thought, Trudy popped her head in the door, red lips pursed and earrings jangling. As soon as he saw her, he exploded.

"Did they REALLY let you back in this hospital?" he roared.

Hank and Jeannie looked up in surprise, but Trudy was the most alarmed of all. Buzz's reaction had been like a volcano erupting. Her face registered pain.

"Look, Buzz, I was drunk. I don't even remember what I did, but I came to apologize to ya...and to Jeannie."

Jeannie, ever gracious, spoke first. "Of course, we accept your apology, dear!"

"You still haven't explained how you got past security to wander around the hospital?" Buzz sat back waiting for an answer, clenching  his fists.

Trudy gushed, then stammered, "Well, I came with a companion that made it okay."

She took two steps into the room and dragged in a surprised Gil right behind her. Guilt dressed both their faces. Gil stared at the back wall and Trudy studied her fingernails. The cop issued a lame greeting, mumbled so low no one could understand.

"Gil! What the...?" Hank stammered. “Why are you with Trudy? And why do you look so guilty?”

Buzz grabbed both arms of his chair and tried to get up. Both men lunged to stop him.

"Boss, you can't get up yet!"

"Sit down, boss!"

"What the hell is going on here? Bettencourt, what the fuck?"

"BUZZ!!!! Your language!" Jeannie broke in.

"Sorry," he murmured and backed off. But he was not happy. Here he was, laid up with injuries, and his assistants were making time with not only his wife, but his girl friend. Who could you trust? His better angel whispered in the back of mind, pleading--Buzz, you're devoted to your wife now, so forget about Trudy. And Jeannie loves you. Don't forget that! But Buzz kicked aside his silly conscience. No matter what, he was perturbed, dammit!

***

Jake Leichtenstein found a seat in the back of the bus choosing one deliberately so no one was seated near him. Reaching into his pockets, he pulled out all the money he could find--two quarters and a few smaller coins, a five spot, and four crinkled ones. Crap, he could starve to death at this rate, especially if he wanted to buy a couple more beers. He'd have to find a safe street corner and get pan-handling. But for now, he needed to lie low. Leaning back in the seat, he got comfortable, idly looking through the grimy window while he decided whether to stay awake or grab a nap.

The rickety bus took every bump in the road, flipping him around on the seat every time it hit a pot hole. And the smell on the vehicle was unbelievable. It brought back remembrances of his abandoned truck and “it.” Bile seeped up in his throat.

He doubted he could sleep, so he gazed out the window instead. The conveyance rumbled along cobblestone streets in neighborhoods with old, old housing, falling apart, covered in grit. Grubby kids ran along the bus, tossing stones that smacked against the metal vehicle while they yelled expletives. A block away, he could still hear their voices.

"Quite a vocabulary!" Jake muttered.

Judging by the amount of grit and the black dust he found on the bus seat, Jake surmised an industry of some sort was along the route. Sure enough, the next stop was a mill.

A row of weary looking men toting lunch pails entered the bus and, with empty eyes staring straight ahead, they headed in a straight line toward the back, an obvious regular routine.  As luck would have it, they took seats all around him, filling the back of the bus. To his horror, a flabby worker with rolls of fat bouncing like Jello across his torso stopped, poised, then plopped down none too graciously onto the other half of Jake’s seat, his bulging frame in the process ramming against him. Jake squirmed. He didn't like to be this close to people. The next thing he knew, the giant man nodded off and  started emitting hollow snores from his gaping mouth. Enough! Jake kicked him and plowed over the startled guy to get to the aisle.

He got off the bus at the next stop, letting out a relaxed sigh to be free and out in the fresh air again. Turning on his heel, he surveyed his surroundings and saw he'd landed in a putrid, rundown neighborhood. Unfortunate! Because the pan-handling wouldn't do much here. No one had any money. In fact, it could be dangerous to travel alone on streets like this. Assuming a posture of high alert, he started down the block looking for a place to take refuge. He made a decision. As soon as he could, he needed to catch another bus out of here.

He came upon a church and walked in a quick sprint up to the middle doors, looked around, then slumped down to sit in the doorway. Surely no one would mug a guy in a church doorway. At least he didn't have to watch in all directions. Postured against the door, he only needed to look straight ahead to keep watch. He scrunched down and got more comfortable, but soon his eyelids got heavy. He hadn't had a good night's sleep in a while. The streets were empty as he kept watch, nothing to keep his attention. It wasn't long until he fell asleep.

He wasn't sure what woke him up. But when he opened his eyes, a bedraggled homeless woman stood in front of him studying him with curious eyes like hollow black beads. He was certain he was face to face, eyeball to eyeball, staring at insanity. The eyes registered a bizarre perception and a frightening unpredictability, tempered by no social proclivity or logic.

 A shopping cart rested behind her, filled to brimming with assorted junk including a couple soiled blouses protruding from heap, an occasional shoe, and some packages of chocolate creme-filled Oreo cookies.

"Well, aren't you the most handsome thing?" she said.

Jake cringed. The ogre-like woman was the thing of nightmares. Only four or five yellow teeth remained, painfully visible when she smiled. Her face, her hands, her clothes were all grimy, and the stench! All that, and her hair was a hopeless bird's nest. A filthy hat perched on top, and when she talked, it bobbled up and down. It looked like something from the fifties, with black netting flying loose around it, and a black fabric rose adorning off center in the front.

"Hi, honey! My name is Sadie!" she said. "You're gonna be awfully glad you met me!"

chapter 55

word count: 1591

the last thing jake leichtenstein expected to see as he approached the ford f150 he had left parked in the cvs parking lot (while he was unsuccessfully pan handling on a nearby corner) was a swarm of local LEO’s.. 

he stopped short, did an about face and walked slowly, casually away,  so as not to attract any attention. ‘i should have just left “it” and the truck in the walmart parking lot like i originally planned.’ he berated himself.. at least then he had, had the presence of mind to wipe it clean of prints..

but no!! he allowed himself to become so consumed with his hunger for more, more, more,, that he had momentarily lost control of his sense of reason... driven by his own forbidden desires,, he had allowed himself to keep the truck,, take the easy route.. clearly his frenzy to return to his old familiar haunt had gotten the best of him,, and erased every lick of common sense he had ever had.. jake cursed his own idiocy.. 

“fuck, i fucked up like a motherfucker! fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!”

he chanted in a low monotone as he crossed the street,, putting as much distance between him and the throng of uniforms and detectives that were devouring the truck.. he had been this fucking close to making it back to new albay.. this fucking close.. 

“god damn it!”

‘ok,, slow down buddy,,” he attempted to regain his composure.  ‘remain calm.. you can do this.. you have been doing this your whole life.. all you gotta do is slow down and think this thing through.’

with like $14.00 and some change to his name,, he slipped off the street and into the first neighborhood watering hole he came across, the wagon wheel saloon.. 

as the door closed behind him, the smell of stale beer , piss, and vomit overloaded his senses immediately.. his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, as  he made his way to a stool at the far end of the bar.. he could keep an eye on the door from there.. 

“wadda ya have?” asked the seemingly disinterested,  balding bartender.

“draft.” he grunted in reply.

“we got bud, miller light, sierra nevada, and newcastle on tap. wadda ya have?”

“just gimme a bud.” jake replied, way too preoccupied to really process his choices.. 

jake surveyed the bald, aging bartender as he turned away to pour the beer..  despite the fact he had barely acknowledged jakes existence,, he looked like the kind of guy that had been here a while.. he looked like the kind of guy that knew his regulars,, and therefore, jake could be sure, he knew he was not one of them..  maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea after all.. 

‘just have the one beer,, calm the fuck down, and plot your next move.’ jake tried reasoning with himself.. ‘then you can get the hell outta here..’

he kept his eyes trained on the door.  last thing he needed was some spun out local uniform coming thru the front door of this shithole looking for the driver of that truck.. and by the looks of the place,, it would be one of the first places they’d look.

“$3.50” the bartender said abruptly, as he slid a bar nap in front of jake, and set down the frothing mug.

jake dug four crumpled up singles out of his pants pocket and laid them on the bar.. he lifted the icy draft to his lips and took a long pull.. ‘act casual.’ he instructed himself,, even though it was taking every bit of restraint he could muster not to gulp down the draft,, and feel it’s cool, calming, caress envelope him, as slid down.. if he had ever needed a drink,, the time was now.. 

‘ok,” he thought introspectively, ‘let’s start with what i know.. they have the truck. they have more than likely already run the plate, and it no doubt came back stolen..  my fucking finger prints are all over the damn thing.. not only does the bed of the truck smell like a fucking tomb,, but my backpack and duffel bag are in the tool box.. that means as soon as they pry it open,, (and in light of the distinct smell of death that was emanating from it,, they probably already had) they will have all my fucking keepsakes,, and know that they are looking for an offender with a serious history,, and not just some idiot kid who took the truck for a joyride..’ 

for a brief second, jake allowed himself to mourn the loss of his most precious possessions.. it had taken him a lifetime to collect them.. without them,, his life would never be the same. it couldn’t be.

he tried to console himself with the fact that he had at least one sweet blonde lock safely tucked away in his wallet.. one delicious memento of his most recent foray into ecstasy.. if he made it out of this,, at least he would have that to hang on to.. although even that realization afforded him no real comfort,, he knew now was not the time to grieve..

jake downed the rest of his beer, and subtly exited the dive through the back door exit..  it led  into a dank alleyway,, where he paused for a moment to get his bearings. if he went left out of the alley,, he figured he would be headed back toward the location of the truck..  taking a right was his only real chance at escape. it would put him on totally uncharted territory, but he had no other choice..

as he exited the alleyway,, he had the good fortune to round the corner just as a local bus was coming to a stop at the corner.. he sprinted toward the bus,, neither knowing, nor caring where it would take him.. none of that mattered right now.. he would be off the street,, and headed anywhere but here.

***

the sound of the ringing phone jolted john from his blissful slumber.. he jumped up off the couch,, and caught the phone on the fourth or fifth ring.

“hell-o.” john muttered into the phone,, his voice still clouded with sleep..

“hey john, it’s lisa, lisa snodgrass,, you sound like i woke you up.”

“me??” john blundered,, his voice now riddled with adrenaline. “heck no,, just watching a little TV while the wife’s away and the boys are amusing themselves upstairs..”

“that’s cool,, i was afraid i woke you up.. so it sounds like adam is enjoying himself then?? 

“oh yeah, those two are like two peas in a pod”  john assured her, “they been upstairs since lunch.. probably playing some video game or another.. so what’s up?”

“well i just thought i’d give you a call and make sure adam hadn’t worn out his welcome.”

“oh hell no!” john exclaimed. “you’d never even know he was here..  and elliot’s got to be in seventh heaven,, poor kid never has anyone to play with,, so this is a real treat for him..”

“thank god.. i have done nothing but think about adam, since he told us he wished his dad had died in that terrible explosion.. have you been able to get anything out of him?? any clue as to why he would have said such a thing??”

“not a word,, but then i haven’t really pressed him.. i thought it was better to just let the two of them spend some time together.. you know, maybe have some fun, maybe it will help adam get this whole crazy situation off his mind.. “ 

“i can’t even begin to imagine the state of confusion his poor little mind must be in.. i am having a hard time putting all the pieces together myself,, and the thought of him having to make sense of it all with his little seven year old mind just breaks my heart.” lisa’s tone inferred her genuine concern. 

“well if it would put your mind at ease, you’re welcome to come on over,, have a look for yourself.”

“really? that wouldn’t be putting you out too much?? lisa sounded relived.. 

“putting me out? hell no,, the wife’s been out all day,, and like i said the boys have been upstairs playing.. i would love to have you drop by,, even if for purely selfish reasons!!” john answered gleefully,, barely able to contain his level of  joy at the prospect of seeing lisa again.. 

“ok then,” started lisa, “i am dropping erik off for karate here in about twenty minutes, wadda ya say i stop over for an hour or so while he is at his lesson?”

“i say go for it!!!” john exclaimed, clearly delighted.

as he hung up the phone, a distinct feeling that could be identified as nothing less than utter infatuation coursed through his being.. john hadn’t felt like this since he was a kid. quickly,, he jumped into action,, immediately clamoring up the stairs to check his look in the mirror.. 

‘lisa is on her way over!’ he kept reminding himself as he ran his hand over his coarse two day stubble.. 

'i’d better shave.. oh,, and put on something a little more presentable than the wife beater and sweats i been laying around in all day..'  john decided,, just as he was sure he felt his heart skip a beat..

“if there is a god,” he petitioned the universe, as he stroked his trusty triple blade over his well lathered beard, “please don’t let trudy come home any time soon!!”

Chapter 54

word count 1008

Gil made his way to the interrogation room wondering what he would find. After tying on a good one and spending the night in the drunk tank, what possible condition could Trudy be in? He didn't have to check on her; he just wanted to. She had a precious vulnerability that spoke to him, childlike and intense. Sure, there was a lot of swearing and tantrums, but deep inside, she was a frightened little girl desperately seeking attention.

He'd been in the process of pulling in favors and making deals, all to get her terrorist threats charges dropped. Obviously, she was drunk when she made them and didn't know what she was saying. She was no danger to anyone. Or at least he hoped not. In any event, she deserved another chance.

When he entered the room, she was sitting with elbows on table and head in hands, bending low because a handcuff attached to her right wrist locked her to the table on a short chain. She looked up when Gil came in. As bad as she obviously felt, a smile crossed her lips.

"Gilberto!"

"Hi, doll! How are you feeling today?"

"Shit! My heads hurts like a sonofabitch! What are you doing here?" She looked at him with curiosity and happiness all at the same time.

Gil grabbed a chair and turned it around to sit on it backwards facing her. "Look, Trudy! I've been working hard to get the worst of your charges dropped. You have no record so if you're lucky, you may only be charged with public intoxication."

"Oh, Gilberto! You are such a sweetie! If I wasn't chained here, I'd give ya a big kiss!"

Gil blushed in spite of himself. "No need! I'm just helping a friend!"

Hank popped his head in the door. "Gil, you asked me to tell you...she's free to go now." He studied the two and turned to leave. I wonder if that's a disaster waiting to happen, he pondered while walking away.

A uniformed officer appeared and unlocked the cuff on Trudy's wrist.

"I can go?" she purred.

"Yeah, I posted your bail," Gil said. He looked uncomfortable making the statement. "You can pay me back when you get it. Three hundred dollars. I knew you probably didn't have anyone to help you."

"Where did ya get such a big heart? Now I can give ya the big ol' kiss ya deserve!" She grabbed the cop and planted a big one right on his lips while lifting her thigh up to rub against his leg.

What have I gotten myself into, he wondered.

***

At the hospital, Nurse Abrams stood between Jeannie and Buzz's beds, addressing them both. She was a huge woman with tiny eyes buried and lost in the folds of her face, so that her shining feature was her smile. It radiated warmth and humor making her popular among the patients

"Well, my friends! Today we are moving you to a semi-private room together. No more heavy duty monitoring. You can take phone calls and watch TV and feel normal again."

"HOW IN THE HELL can a person feel normal in a hospital?" Buzz asked. His face flushed and voice crackled with anger.

Nurse Abrams stared, stunned by his rudeness, speechless, perhaps wondering where the outburst came from.

Jeannie struggled to sit up in bed. "Buzz, what's the matter with you. This lady is just here to help us. Apologize to her NOW."

Buzz looked to his wife, and his jaw dropped. Could that be mousy Jeannie yelling at him? He didn't know what to think. He was only aware of the need to listen and obey. She was right. He had been rude. His mind whirled with new realizations. Had this become a way of life for him these past few years, snapping and yelling at people?

"I'm sorry, nurse. I lost my temper. I hope you can understand and forgive me."

"No offense taken. We know being in the hospital is hard. Now, here come the orderlies to get you moved."

Two brawny lads in green scrubs appeared with wheel chairs in tow. One of them half-lifted and half-guided Jeannie onto one of the chairs. With Buzz's injuries, he was going to need help getting out of the bed. The strongest of the two orderlies reached to lift him and Buzz exploded.

"DON'T lay a hand on me, you..." His eyes met Jeannie's and he stopped. Her expression telegraphed a message of warning. He cleared his throat. "I mean...thanks for the help."

As the orderlies wheeled them to their new room, Jeannie remained lost in thought. She liked what had just happened. She intended to call Buzz on every insensitive thing he said or did. The cancer had taught her something, that you can't win without trying, without fighting the good fight. Success didn't just happen on its own. Just like she was fighting for her life in a battle with cancer, she intended to fight for her marriage with Buzz. Every time he was insensitive, she'd reel him in until he finally got the message. She would get back the good man she married or die trying.

Buzz looked at his wife in amazement. He wasn't sure what had brought about the change in her, but he liked it. If he had to get a wake up call, what better than for Jeannie to issue it.

And maybe together, they could figure out what had happened to their boy and bring him around before it was too late. His blood ran cold thinking of the possibilities. If they didn't bring Adam around soon, he'd end up like the scumbags Buzz threw in jail everyday...drug addicts, thieves, murderers. Murderer! He recalled how Adam had wished him dead. He couldn't let this go on. He had to help his kid.

chapter 53

word count: 1560

hank immediately dialed ben morrison, the arson investigator who had been first on the scene.. 

“ben, hank bowers, here. any updates what so ever on the miller case??

“it’s been a slow go, “ ben started, “we only got the go ahead last night,,  the fire department and bomb squad wouldn’t sign off on it till then,, and then we had to wait for daylight to really get started.. we did a thorough run thru with an arson dog,, and there is no question, it was arson.. looks like it started in the laundry room,, and the proximity of the point of origin to the natural gas appliances was more than likely the cause of the explosion.. “

“what about a body? any indication there is a body in the wreckage??”  hank prodded him for more information.. “we have reason to believe one of our own was on the scene.”

“one of our own?? shit!! all i can say is, the investigation is still in its preliminary stages, hank.  in an explosion of that proportion,, integrity of the crime scene is our first concern,, especially in this case, seeing as how it was buzz millers house.."

“yeah, yeah, i know all that,, hank interjected, “but i would think your preliminary investigation would have included a victim search by now..”

“and, ordinarily, you would be right.. that portion of the investigation is underway,, we’ve got cadaver dogs over there as we speak.. you have to understand, hank,, with this level of devastation,, we aren’t looking for a body,, we are looking any evidence of human remains. if there was anybody in that house,,  at this point,, we are looking for pieces parts..”

“jesus christ!” exclaimed hank, “so give me a time frame,, what are we looking at here??”

“well, like i said,, we have the dogs on scene,, so a thorough search is underway,, we can’t disturb the crime scene any further till after we run the dogs through it. unfortunately, there is a very real possibility,, they won’t be able to detect the remains, if there are any, due to the fact that nothing but skeletal remains could be expected to have survived that kind of combustion.. the fire was just too damn hot,, hank,, and the explosion would have distributed the body parts all over the crime scene..”

“i need full and immediate disclosure on this,, like i said,, we have reason to believe one of our own was on scene. we were able to pull a partial plate number, with the police insignia still intact, from a remnant we found in the driveway,, and it has been identified as belonging to our fellow detective, brenda simmons.. who, incidentally, has failed to show up for her shift the last two days.” hank continued,  “all efforts to contact her have hit a brick wall,, and a walk through of her apartment suggests she hasn’t been there in days..  we currently have a couple of desk jockeys  working on contacting known friends and family,, to see if anyone has any information as to her whereabouts.”

“you’ve got my word on this one, hank,, if we find anything on scene that points to a victim, you will be the first to know.” ben assured him as they concluded the call..  

“this is fucking unbelievable!!” gil exclaimed as hank hung up the phone. “you are never gonna guess who patrol just dragged in..”

“no, i’m not, and i am in no mood for guessing games!!” hank barked back at him,, the stress was clearly starting to get the best of him..

“ you know that trudy chick,, the one you said was the bosses main squeeze??

“no fucking way!!,, what the hell did they pick her up on??”

“you are not gonna believe this,, but they are booking her in on issuance of terrorist threats!! she freaking stormed the bosses room at the hospital, and threatened to kill him!!”  gil said still finding it hard to believe it himself, “and in front of two fucking uniforms to boot!!”

***

after further consideration,, adam dropped the blue crayon back in the pile and decided on a black one instead.. he put the crayon to the paper,, and then withdrew it.. he just couldn’t bring himself to draw anything.  he dropped the crayon back on the bed.

“elliot can i tell you something? i mean like something really important,, something you can never tell anyone,, and i mean anyone!!”

“sure.”  said elliot not looking up from his drawing.

“no,, i mean like this is really important.. like life or death important!”

elliot dropped his crayon on the bed,, and turned to adam. “dude,, you should know by now you can tell me anything.. after all,, i wouldn’t a told you about the cutting shit,, or showed you my knife if i didn’t know i could trust you!”

“yeah,, i guess you’re right..” adam said as he lowered his eyes.. he just couldn’t look elliot in the eye in light of what he was about to reveal.. 

“huh!!!” adam exhaled loudly.. “pinky swear??”

“fuck pinky swear,, let’s take a blood oath.. a blood oath can never be broken.. i will swear i will never repeat a word of what you wanna tell me,, and you swear you will never tell anyone about what i told you last night. deal?”

“deal.” adam looked up,, elliot was the best friend a guy could have.. “is it gonna hurt?”

“ a little,, but it’s a good kinda hurt,, you’ll see.” elliot said as he jumped off the bed and went to his desk to retrieve his knife.  “stand up over here so we don’t get any blood on the bed, it soaks right in the carpet.. elliot instructed adam out of experience.. 

i’ll go first.” 

without hesitation, elliot pierced the soft flesh on the palm of his right hand,, his pulse quickened as he saw the deep, red, blood oozing up from the wound.

“there see,, it’s not so bad.. your turn.” he said as he took adam’s right hand in his,, and drew the blade expertly across his palm, creating an identical cut on adam’s hand.. adam winced,, but secretly admired the way it felt.. elliot was right,, something about the sight of the blood rising up out of the small cut felt good.. good in a way adam could not describe,, but could not deny either..  

they stood motionless for a moment,, each mesmerized by the sight of their own blood.. 

“ok,, so now we rub our hands together,, and our bloods get all mixed up with each other’s,, and we both swear out loud that nothing we ever say or do together gets talked about to anyone, ever!”

elliot and adam raised their hands,, palms met,, and they proceeded to rub them together until each of their palms were smeared in their combined blood..

“repeat after me,”  elliot instructed adam,  “i, elliot taggert.”

“i, adam miller,”

“do solemnly swear,” elliot continued.

“do solemnly swear,”

“to never breathe a word of what is said,, or goes on between me and adam miller.”

“to never breathe a word of what is said, or goes on between me and elliot taggart.” adam repeated dutifully.

“to anyone, ever, under penalty of death.”

“to anyone, ever, under penalty of death.”

“there , “ said elliot,,  “now we are blood brothers, joined by this blood oath,, and it can never be broken.. like i said ‘under penalty of death’.”

“under penalty of death.” adam repeated.. 

elliot pulled a bloodied towel out from underneath his bed and handed it to adam..  adam wiped off his hand,, spit on his palm,, and wiped it some more.. he then handed the towel off to elliot.. 

“so,, are you gonna tell me or what?” elliot asked as he spit on his own hand and wiped it as clean as he could on the blood stained rag..

“yeah.. but let’s sit down. this is gonna be a long story.” adam said as he took his place in the bed,, and pulled his legs up tight to his chest.. elliot sat down on the edge of the bed, facing adam.. 

“shoot!’ he said, the curiosity was getting the best of him.."

“huh!!!” adam let out yet another deep  sigh,, and continued.. i don’t really know how to say this so i am just gonna say it.”

“c’mon, said elliot,” whatever it is,, it’s ok.” 

“well,, alright, here goes.” adam started, still an inkling of hesitation in his voice.. 

“i tried to kill my dad.” he stated bluntly.

“wow!!” exclaimed elliot..

“yeah,” started adam.. “i poisoned him.”

with that admission,, the floodgates just opened up.. wide.. adam told elliot everything.. he told him about the gun,, and about the homeless guy they had met at the dairy queen who took it away from him..

he told him about jack and steve , and how they got in big trouble for selling it to him,, right before steve’s little brother had disappeared.. 

he told him about the oleander,, and how he knew it was poisonous,, and how he mixed in the mayonnaise so his dad would never know.. 

he concluded by telling elliot about how his dad beat his mom,, and him (every gory detail) and how, (no matter how bad it sounded),,  he still wanted to see him dead..

chapter 52

word count 1211

Trudy served her last table for the day and ripped off her apron, slamming it into her locker like a fast ball. Taking a generous gulp from her paisley flask, she grabbed her purse and headed out of the diner. No way she was going home! She was in no humor for John and  his goody-goody lectures or to see Buzz's kid who was staying there. Buzz! She'd spent all day thinking about him. That only made her feel worse. All day in her misery she would sneak another drink from to feel better. She shook the flask now. It was almost empty after being filled that morning.

A bright idea hit her! Why should she keep being so miserable? She should fix things, and the only way to do that was to go and see Buzz and make things right. Yes, that's what she should do. Go and see Buzz.

Twenty minutes later, she ambled through the ICU double doors and stumbled to the desk. It was unoccupied. She proceeded with caution to Bed 2A. It was still open to 1A for Buzz and Jeannie to share the space like before.

"Shit! Aren't they ever goin’ to close them off from one another?" Trudy mumbled. There was nothing to do but just barge straight in anyway.

"Buzz, hon! How are ya?" She asked, peeking around the curtain, holding onto the wheeled contraption on for balance. The whole partition moved with her when she stumbled. "Oops!" she said, looking around, wondering what caused the thing to take off like that.

"Trudy?" Buzz's face drained of color. "W-w-what are you doing here?"

"Who is this, Buzz?" Jeannie asked in a pleasant voice. It was apparent she had no idea of the role Trudy played in Buzz's life.

Buzz looked from Trudy to Jeannie, then from Jeannie to Trudy. Finally he took a breath. "Jeannie, this is Elliot's mom. Adam is staying at her house for the weekend."

"Oh, well, thank you for taking care of our boy!"

Trudy appeared dumbfounded. If there was one way she wouldn't choose at this moment to describe herself, it would be as Elliot's mother. Her blood bubbled up to a slow simmer. "You sonafabitch! That's how you describe me to your wife? Why don't you tell her THE TRUTH!  Now you're pretending I'm nobody? I'D LIKE TO KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!"

Doctors, nurses, and security guards crowded into the cubicle at full gallop. Security had Trudy in hand before she knew what happened. They held her back as she flailed and clawed to get at Buzz.

"I'M GONNA KILL YA! I'M GONNA KILL YA!"

Two uniformed officers arrived, and taking her, one on each side, they dragged the screaming woman away. The cops looked amused, but determined.

"Looks like you're going to jail for the night. Let's see--issuing terrorist threats. That's not good, lady!"

When the room was cleared and peace restored, Jeannie asked Buzz, "Buzz, who was that woman?"

The directness of the question startled Buzz, so unlike his mousy wife. Many inclinations rushed through his mind, some to run, to lie. But his latest promise to make good on his marriage took center stage. His heart leaped in his chest. He wasn't certain if the emotional jolt was from love or guilt, perhaps a little of both.

"Look, Jeannie, I'm not gonna lie to you, babe! I was having an affair with her. But I promise you, it's over. I'll get rid of her. Both of us being here like this, all pretensions pushed aside, looking at each other from hospital beds, seeing what is important in this life and what is not, I see the light. I only hope you can forgive me and start again!"

Tears rolled down Jeannie's cheeks. And her heart filled with new courage, new resolve. The doctors had told her the tumors were shrinking, she could make it if she kept fighting. And her dear Buzz was back. This man in the next bed, he was the one she married, the brusque guy with a big heart and a gentle soul. Somewhere along the way that dear fellow had gotten lost. The rigors of his job hardened him, wore him out. He worked hard and along the fringes, and he played just as hard and with equal abandon. Today he was renewed, and so was she. She was beating the cancer, and she would continue to fight. And she'd fight for him him, too. Because through it all, she loved him.

"Of course, I forgive you, Buzz! I love you and I always will. By the way, that crazy lady who was here, do you think she might be who burned down our house?"

***

Gil downed the last of his coffee while whittling down his stack of work late at night in the squad room. Hank sat across from him doing the same. They'd been so busy with Buzz and his concerns, the workload had gotten behind.

"I'm gonna make more coffee. You want some?"

"Yeah, hey, did you see this one?" He waved a paper at Gil.

Gil took it and read. "I'll be damned. Another abduction, when did this come in?"

"This afternoon."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say this sounds like our man's MO."

"That's what I was thinking," Hank replied. He went to get a drink from his cup, then remembered it was empty. He put it down. "Looks like we're back on the trail again."

"We gotta get this SOB if it's the last thing we do. Any descriptions in this bulletin? We still don't know what he looks like these days."

"No. Oh by the way, did you hear Brenda is missing? She never reported to work. Her apartment shows no sign of her being home. Peculiar! Stevens and Jones and checking with her family and friends."

"I think I know why!" Gil said. He'd returned to his desk, forgetting the coffee entirely, and held up another paper. “That license plate from the driveway at Buzz's house. Her car!"

***

Adam and Elliot sat together on Elliot’s bed with crayons and drawing paper. Elliot had drawn a house with a sun and a flower while Adam’s paper remained empty.

“Aren’t you going to draw anything?” Elliot asked while laying the green crayon on its side to fill in a grassy area in long, sweeping strokes.

“I don’t wanna.”

“Dude, you let your parents bug ya too much! Just pretend they’re not there!”

“Is that what you do?”

“Yeah! It’s a lot easier that way. Parents are a lot of trouble.”

Adam looked affronted. “My mom is okay! It’s just my dad. He’s mean to her.”

Elliot gave Adam a studied glance. “That’s weird. For me it is the opposite. My mom is mean to my dad.”

“Does she hit him?”

Elliot paused to consider the question. “Wel-l-l  no. She doesn’t hit exactly. She just sort of smacks his shoulder once in a while. Mostly she just yells at him all the time.”

“My dad yells, but he hits, too.” The boy paused to pick up a blue crayon and study it. “It’s not cool.”

chapter 51

word count: 2892

trudy put on the finishing touches,, and surveyed her look in the mirror.. “a little bleary around the eyes,,” she said to her reflection,, “ thank god i look a lot better than I feel..”  

she finished off her cocktail,, and headed down to the kitchen to fix another.. the first one had taken a bit of the edge off,,  but she going to need at least one more to even get straight enough to be able to face yet another day slinging hash.. 

“augh!” she let out a loud groan, “i feel like shit!”  trudy cried out loudly, as she descended the staircase, dressed in her white work uniform and a pair of black danskos,, she could hear john and lisa in the living room still talking,, ‘why is she still here?’ she wondered to herself.. she had been wishing  lisa and the kid would be gone by the time she got ready for work..  she was really not in any mood to make small talk.. 

“ah! there you are,” john started in on her as she made her way down the stairs. “lisa and i were just talking,, she seems to think it would be a good idea for adam to go home with her,, but adam doesn’t want to go.. he wants to stay here.. i told him i would have to talk to you first.” he rambled.

“do whatever.” trudy stated flatly, as she walked right past them and into the kitchen. what did she care, she was gonna be at work all day anyway,, and right now the only thing that really mattered was getting  a slug or two in her before she had to leave.. 

“well i guess it’s decided then,, trudy doesn’t seem to have any objection, so i guess adam can stay here.. it’s saturday after all,, let’s let the boys spend the weekend together,, and then we can take it from there.” john paused, took a deep concerned breath before he continued, “who knows maybe adam will open up to elliot a little bit.. poor kids got so much on his plate..”

“well if you are sure it’s not a problem,, it’s ok with me if he wants to stay the weekend.. maybe by then we’ll know a little more about what’s going on with his parents. i just don’t know what they are gonna do now.. they don’t even have a house to come home to.” lisa said as she stood up and grabbed her purse off the sofa.. 

“you ready to go?” john asked. he really didn’t want her to go. this was the  first ‘normal’ woman he had had the pleasure of getting to know since he hooked up with trudy. and if the truth be told,, he was really starting to enjoy himself..  “i was kinda thinking you could stay for breakfast. i mean if you don’t have to be anywhere right away.. i make a mean pancake!!”

“pancakes huh?  yum!!l that really sounds good. and it would give me a little more time with adam too.. that kid worries me..”  lisa said looking at her time on her cell.. “well, it’s only 8:00, erik doesn’t have to be at soccer till noon.. let me call the sitter real quick, and make sure she can stay another hour or so.”

“excellent!!” exclaimed john, truly delighted about the prospect of lisa staying for breakfast,, there was just something about her,, something  that intrigued him. something that made him feel like he would like to get to know her better..  

“i’ll go see trudy off while you’re on the phone,, and then if all is well on your end, we’ll get some flapjacks and coffee going.”

“sounds great!!” lisa replied as she, scrolled through her contacts, and touched the screen to dial her home number.. 

“back in a jiffy!” john said as he crossed the room. . he entered the kitchen just in time to catch trudy  funnel and flask in hand..

“is that really necessary?” he said with a deep disgusted sigh..

“shut the fuck up!” trudy growled back..

“c’mon trudy!! we have company!! do you think you could at least pretend to be a decent human being,, while lisa is here.. she is really quite a nice woman,, and i would like to think she will leave here thinking the same about you!”

trudy set the bottle down, and turned to face john.. “i said, ‘shut the fuck up!’” she whispered sarcastically.. “there.. how was that?” she spewed as she dropped the flask in her purse and grabbed her apron off the counter. 

john exhaled loudly,, turned around and promptly left the kitchen.. he was better off just staying away from her at times like this.. ‘why do i put up with it?’ he asked himself as he rejoined lisa in the living room.

“well? what’s the word?”  john queried, genuinely hoping lisa was going to get to stay,, he could use some ‘normal’ human contact for a change..  interacting with trudy outside the bedroom was really taking its toll on him..

“all set!” exclaimed lisa, “she can stay till ten if i need her that long..”

“excellent!” john responded,, as if he hadn’t a care in the world.  “as soon as trudy leaves for work, we’ll take this little party in the kitchen, and i will proceed to blow you away with my culinary talents!”

the back door slammed loudly.. “oup!! there she goes!! sorry she didn’t even pop in to say good bye..”  john continued apologetically,, “trudy is  just not a morning person. she means well,, she just has a rather strange way of showing it at times.”

“no worries!!” exclaimed lisa, “i am sure she and i be seeing a lot of each other while adam is more or less in limbo, and the millers get things straightened out.”

“i am sure you will.” john replied as he thought about how glad he was that he too would be seeing a lot of lisa over the course of the next few weeks.. there was just something about her….

***

on their way over to the hospital to break the bad news to buzz and jeannie,, hank and gil tried to plot out how they were gonna break the news to the millers in the softest possible manner..  

“he’s gonna know something is up,, us just showing up at this hour and all.” hank stated..

“i know,” continued gil, “but we can’t take the chance of them finding out any other way, especially not off the TV.. i wanna get to them first.”

hank wheeled into the red zone just outside the front doors of the hospital.. he turned the ‘official police business’ placard over on the dash, and he and gill exited the car.. “no time like the present, i guess!” hank said uneasily. he was really dreading being the messenger on this one.. 

buzz and jeannie had spent the remainder of night talking.. they hadn’t really talked to each other in years.. once they got started,, it was as if the flood gates had been opened.. 

buzz assured jeannie that adam was in good hands,, he told her they had called hank,, and he had arrived to pick adam up just as buzz was being loaded in the bus.. 

jeannie knew hank well,, and hank was a great guy.. he had raised three fine kids of his own,, she was sure adam would be well taken care of.. 

as soon as they had adams well being under control,, buzz started filling jeannie in on exactly how he had ended up in the bed next to her at the hospital.. he made light of the fact that he had been hospitalized with gastrointestinal distress,, he didn’t mention the fact that he thought he had been poisoned.. he realized she had more than enough to worry about without him filling her with interjections..  he glossed it over, saying it was probably just a bad case of gas,, and turned the focus back to jeannie,, and her cancer,, and how he wished she had come to him with the news as soon as she got it.. 

jeannie, hesitatingly at first, explained to buzz why she had been reluctant to tell him about the cancer.. how she didn’t feel it was right to burden him with the news,, as he already had so much on his plate.. she explained that she knew how hard it was on him, being laid up like he was,, and with all the stress he was under,, what with physical therapy every day,, and so many high profile cases in the news right now,, she just didn’t feel she had the right to add to his stress.. 

buzz assured jeannie that she could come to him with anything.. he apologized for the years of brutish behavior he had inflicted upon her..  he opened up about all the memories that had come rushing over him,, as he watched her sleep,, attached to all those machines, looking as frail and helpless as a little child. he explained to her how those memories had really opened his eyes, as if for the first time.. he continued by telling her he’d been up all night thinking about things,, and now he truly believed that he could see things in a whole new light..  he admitted he had never really realized all that jeannie had sacrificed when she agreed to become his wife,, and would have to continue to sacrifice as the wife of a homicide detective.. he promised her,, things were gonna be different.. that he was really going to put his best foot forward,, and be a husband to her,,  the kind of husband,, he knew now,, that she really deserved.. she would see,, he assured her,, things would be different,, when they finally got out of here,,  when they finally got home..

“knock!  knock!”  a familiar voice rang out from the doorway.. “you two decent?” hank said in jest as he and gil entered the room,, pleased to find both buzz and jeannie not only awake,, but looking a lot better than the last time he had seen them.. 

“what goes on?” gil smiled as he walked over and shook buzz’s hand. “you both look so much better today!! you really had me worried last night!!”

“me too!” hank chimed in, as he too gave the boss’ hand a firm shake..  “you both look great,, and just so you don’t worry,, i wanna let you know adam is fine.. i had my daughter lisa watching him,, but he wanted to spend the night with his friend elliot.. so lisa and i thought that would be the best thing for him.. you know,, being with someone he knows,, someone he is already familiar with.. all this is pretty tough on the little guy,, and we just thought it best that he be where he is comfortable..”

jeannie let out a relived sigh,, “thank you so much, hank.. i don’t know what we would have done without you!!”

“good job hank, i knew i could count on you!” buzz exclaimed  in a jovial tone neither of them had ever really heard him use before.. gil and hank looked at each other, it was silently understood that the real reason behind their visit had to be revealed,, the task at hand seemed even more unpleasant now,, seeing them both seemingly so happy,, and looking a whole lot healthier.. 

hank took a seat,, and started in a noticeably somber tone.. “i hate to be the bearer of bad news,, especially when you guys are both laid up like this.. but there is a matter of great importance that needs to be discussed, and gil and i agreed that we would rather you hear it from us than anyone else.”

“what the hell??” exclaimed buzz as he raised the head of his bed into a sitting position. “what the hell is going on?? you just said adam is in good hands??”

“and he is.” assured hank.. “ this has nothing to do with adam,, you can rest easy on that note..”

“i guess there is no better way to go about this than to just straight up tell you.” gil started,, buzz noticed he had assumed the authoritative tone he always took on when they were on the street working a case.. 

“although the forensics are yet to come in,, i feel safe to say, that someone set fire to your house last night.”

buzz and jeannie gasped in unison.. 

“no, no, oh my god, no! jeannie cried out as the tears began to stream down her face..

“jesus christ!” buzz cried out in confusion,, “what the hell do you mean someone set fire to the house? who the hell..”

hank cut him off.. “and i am afraid to say, the bad news does not end there.. you see the fire set off a natural gas explosion. the house, the cars,, everything.. it’s a total loss..” hank rested his head in his hands.. this was even harder than he expected it to be.. 

jeannie sobbed silently into the blanket on her bed, as buzz shot off in a million directions at once.. 

“what the hell do you mean a total loss?? everything?? everything is gone?? what the fuck? how could this be? who is doing this to me,, to us?? do you have any suspects?? do you know how the fire was set?? what makes you so sure it was arson?? holy christ!!” buzz cried out, clearly in distress..

“let’s take this one step at a time.” gil started in the same authoritative tone. “let’s everyone relax..what is done is done.. we will fill you in on everything we know..”

he was interrupted by the loud ring of the hospital room phone.. “hand me that phone!” buzz barked..

“hello!” buzz shouted into the phone.. it was john. adam wanted to talk to his mother.  

“put him on,,” buzz directed. “let me talk to him.” there was a long pause,, as john spoke and buzz listened.. 

“i,, i can’t imagine,, i mean,, i have no idea why he would feel that way,, why he would say something like that.. no, no, that’s ok,  i understand,, i totally understand.. thanks for telling me. yes,, yes this is something his mother and i needed  to know.”. it was obvious buzz had received yet another blow.. 

“here she is,, tell him i am putting his mom on the line now.. and thanks, thanks again..”  buzz held out the phone,, and gill accommodated him,, and handed the phone off to jeannie,, who was trying her best to compose herself.. 

“adam!! adam,, my baby….” jeannie tried the best to talk between her tears… 

“hank, gil, pull up a chair,, come over here so jeannie can have some privacy,, there is something i need to talk to you about..” buzz directed,, as hank and gil grabbed their chairs and pulled in close to buzz’s bedside.. 

“what’s up?” gil queried as hank made himself comfortable.

“that was adam’s friend elliot’s step day,, i can’t remember his name,, i’ve only ever met him once.. but, anyway,  he said,” buzz paused and shook his head in confusion. “he said that when they told adam about the fire,, his only response was to say, that he wished i had died in the fire. he wouldn’t even get on the phone with me. the guy asked him and i heard him in the background saying that he wouldn’t talk to me,, he would only talk to his mother..” the color had washed from buzz’s face,,  he was as white as the sheet he was laying on.. 

“what is going on here?? what have i done?” he pleaded as tears welled up in his eyes.. 

as much as both hank and gil silently agreed that buzz was a worthless piece of shit as a husband and a father,, they couldn’t help but take pity on him now.. 

a long period of silence took over,, as jeannie made small talk with adam,, trying to sound healthy and confidant for the sake of the boy.. 

finally,, gil looked buzz straight in the eye.. you could tell he was about to say something,, and whatever it was it was serious.. 

“might as well get it all out in the open boss,, after all with all the bad news you’ve had already this morning,, one more piece of insanity can’t possibly do to much more collateral damage.. “ gill hesitated,, as he looked to hank for strength.. 

“the only reason i haven’t told you about this before now,, is that i wanted to wait till you were back on your feet again.. but it looks as if there is no reason to avoid it any further.”

“just say it man!! just say it!! my whole world is crumbling around me as it is! what the hell are you trying to say??” buzz bellowed..

“it’s about adam.. you see,, while i was undercover working on the brown case,,  i caught a call on the dispatch.. a kid was on a bus headed my way, that was suspected of being in possession of a concealed weapon…”

“oh my god!!” buzz exclaimed as he collapsed back onto the bed.. “please, god!!!  tell me it wasn’t adam!!”

Chapter 50

word count  1115

Jake Leichtenstein pulled out of the car wash bay and eased into a spot at  the edge of the parking lot. From behind the front seat he pulled out a Walmart bag and fished around for a spray can. He pulled it out, Lysol, and rushed with trembling hands to spray the stuff all over the cab of the truck, then bent down to try and spritz under the seat. He struggled to reach every open spot and crevice. In his mind, the place was crawling with germs. To him, odor and germs were synonymous. If you had one, you had the other. And the odor from "it" which had been resting in the truck bed for days had seeped into the cab.

He had dumped "it" in Big Bear River at dawn yesterday morning, but the deathly smell stuck as though it had coated everything in the trunk with its stink.  He whooshed around the can  spewing out a generous spray one more time. Finally satisfied, he tossed the can and on stepping up to get in the truck paused to stare at his reflection in the mirror.

"Not bad," he murmured. "Blond...like a beach bum. I like that!" The final check was to assure himself  he was unrecognizable to the local police. The next exit was New Albany. He was heading back because he felt like going home. There was too much unfinished business there to stay away long, too many boys he had wanted to become acquainted with, to have a go at. He had to go back.

***
Trudy tied on a good one last night. But she was still up early. Her head felt big, very  big, and her eyes hurt. Well, everything hurt. Gilberto had dropped her off at home after seeing Buzz admitted to the hospital. She recalled gazing at him and Jeannie in the same space like husband and wife. The image fried her brain just thinking about it. That's when she hit the bourbon. John yelled at her and said something about a sleepover, but she didn't know what he said. She was too far gone when he spoke to care. But once she fell, literally, into the bed, she couldn't sleep.  Jeannie and Buzz, Jeannie and Buzz...it wouldn't go away. So she was here at an ungodly hour trying to stomach coffee and get a grip on herself.

She switched on the kitchen TV for a distraction but then decided she should turn the volume down so it didn't wake anyone. The last thing she wanted was to make idle conversation. Moaning, she took another sip of coffee and stared at the screen while her gruesome thoughts danced a frenzied jig in her head. It all stopped when she spied a picture of Buzz  on the screen. Her coffee mug slipped out of her hand and crashed to the floor. Diving for the volume knob, she turned it up.

"The home of a local detective, William Miller, burned to the ground last night after an explosion. The fire marshal is investigating." The newscaster, pushing long strands of sleek, red hair off her shoulder, removed her dark shell glasses and cooed, "Around town, we all know Detective Miller as Buzz. He's popular, we love him, and we wish him well. Now back to the news."

Trudy's jaw dropped. Was everyone in love with Buzz? If she hadn't already dropped her coffee, Trudy would have thrown the mug at the TV. Then she realized what the bitch had said. Buzz's house exploded and burned to the ground!

"What's going on down here? I heard something crash." John's soft voice broke in.

Trudy pointed to the TV. "Buzz Miller's house exploded last night. It burned to the ground. It was just on the news."

"What? Oh my gosh, Trudy! His little boy is sleeping upstairs. We can't let him know. At least not until I talk to the lady he’s been staying with." He pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket and grabbed the phone. "She'll be here soon," he said after a few minutes.

***

"It's too bad my dad didn't die in the explosion." They were the only words out of Adam that morning when Lisa, John, and Trudy explained what happened. The three adults exchanged glances. Lisa and John were shocked, and Trudy paced in annoyance. She got up and poured herself a drink. The others didn't notice.

"What do you mean, honey?" Lisa asked. She moved close and put an arm around Adam. "Why on earth do you think it is bad your dad didn't die?"

"No reason." He studied his pajama sleeve as though it were something interesting.

"That's a very odd thing to say. You're saying you want him to die. Do you understand that? Did you mean to say something else?"

"No." He shot Lisa a wide-eyed look.

John came forward. "Why don't you like him, Adam? Is he mean to you?"

"No."

"Well, then, what is it, champ?" John hugged him, but the boy remained silent. John and Lisa spent the next hour trying to get him to speak, but to no avail. Finally, Lisa pulled John aside.

"Look, maybe I'll take him home. After he is settled, maybe he'll relax and talk to me. He's been under a lot of stress."

"Okay," John replied. "But could I mention, I've really enjoyed meeting you." He shot her a smile.

"I'm glad I met you, too, John," she replied.

***

At the hospital late, on that night when he was admitted, after Trudy and Gil left, Buzz woke out of a sound sleep after what he thought was a thunderous roar. His heart pounded so fast, he worried the ditsy nurses would come and bug him about it. Stretching to look at the monitors, he saw they looked normal, no alarms or anything. He had such a feeling of dread. But there was no reason for it, other than what was apparently a bad dream that woke him up with a boom. It was the middle of the night. He hoped he could go back to sleep, but he felt so bummed out and nervous, he doubted he could. He wished he could remember the dream. He heard a stirring from the next bed. Looking over, he could see in the dim light Jeannie was awake. She turned and saw him.  Her eyes registered surprise.

"Buzz, I just had the worst dream. There was a boom at the end of it that woke me. It scared me to death. But why are you and I here in a hospital...and together?”

chapter 49

word count: 1147

buzz was fresh out of the marine corp the first time he had laid eyes on jeannie. 

she had been majoring in criminal justice at the local campus of bainberry college. her dream had always been to continue on to law school,, and then join the public defender’s office upon completion her law degree..

a quiet, studious girl,, her professors had little doubt that she had chosen the wrong profession.. coming from an upper middle class family, and having virtually no firsthand knowledge of what  life in the streets entailed, it was their general consensus that  jeannie displayed none of the qualities that would suggest she could ever become a successful litigator,, let alone have the where with all to deal with the criminal element she sought to defend.. basically they agreed,, that ‘the usual suspects’ would chew her up and spit her out..   

it was upon the suggestion of her forensic science professor,, mr. adamkeiwitz,, that she decided to take the 12 week civilian police academy course.. though the course offered no compensation, or college credits,, mr. A had suggested that she get her feet wet with law enforcement,, get a realistic view of exactly who she was going to be called upon to defend,, and gain a better understanding of the process through which the criminal element became part of ‘the system’.. secretly he had wished it would cause her to rethink her chosen field,, and not waste any more time on a degree, that in his opinion, would never serve her well.. 

much to his surprise, jeannie flourished during the 12 weeks she spent interacting with homicide detectives, robbery investigators, crime scene investigators, and the undercover deputies working dangerous narcotics investigations. so intrigued was she by the aspect of actual criminal investigations that she applied,, and was accepted into a student intern position with the new albany police department. 

much to her chagrin,, she was assigned to a position in the admittance office of the local police academy.. it had been her hopes to work hands on with the seasoned detectives that had volunteered their time to instruct the classes at the civilian police academy course she had so enjoyed.. instead,, she would be interacting with fresh young recruits,, with no real street experience at all.. 

never one to make waves, jeannie decided to put her all into her assigned position,, in hopes that her exemplary performance would make it possible for her to, in time, request a transfer to a more challenging position.. 

her first assignment  was that of receptionist in the front office.. it quickly became evident to her that in this position she was called upon to interact with,, not only the fresh young recruits, but more importantly the veteran staff of instructors..  

while she quickly became knowledgeable and efficient in directing the activities of the young recruits,, she thrived on the one on one interactions with the instructors,, all of which had abundant street experience,, and were only too accommodating when she entreated them to fill her ever eager mind with their on the job ‘war stories’.. 

so enthralled was she with her new found source of vital information,, she had taken to cataloging the stories,, chronicling them in notebooks according to the nature of the crime, during the free moments she could steal away from her duties at the reception desk.. 

it was during one such journaling session,, that she was called out of the vast storehouse of her thought process, by an voice that carried with it a very authoritative tone.

“if i might interrupt you ma’am.”

jeannie looked up to find a fresh faced recruit who’s keen good looks, combined with his high and tight military cut,, commanded the respect his tone of voice had implied. 

“absolutely!, i am sorry to keep you waiting recruit, what can i do for you?” jeannie  responded in an appropriately professional manner,, although she felt a flush of excitement rush over her,, and worried greatly that the blush in her cheeks would give as much away to the brutally handsome recruit that stood before her.. 

“i am expecting a letter of commendation from my marine commander, a master sergeant james p. dumond, will you check today’s incoming mail, ma’am.. i need it ASAP!” his plea for assistance,, sounded much more like a direct order..

“certainly recruit.” jeannie answered in kind,, as she jotted down the master sergeant’s name on the first available scrap of paper on her desk.. “and your name is?”

“private william miller, ma’am!” the recruit barked,, as he leaned in,, placed his elbow leisurely on counter above the reception desk,, looked deep into her eyes,, and purred  (in what could not be mistaken for anything but a sultry, seductive tone) “but you can just call me buzz..”

if there had been any question that the blush in her cheeks had given away her delight in being face to face with this handsome young recruit,, it had been instantly erased.. jeannie could feel the flush intensify,, and a cold sweat begin to break out over her brow,, extending itself down the length of her nose.. she hurriedly swiped at the glistening beads of sweat as she quickly turned away from the overtly flirtatious recruit in hopes that he wouldn’t notice.. as she made her way into the adjoining mail room,, she stammered back over her shoulder, “ok, i mean, um… i’ll be right back.”

in the weeks to come, jeannie became more and more entranced with the provocative recruit she had come to call buzz when no one in authority was around to hear her.. her flights of fancy quickly overtook any desire she may have had of chronicling the ‘war stories’ that had once consumed her.. 

so enthralled was she by her desire to spend her every waking moment in the presence of her first ever, real infatuation,,  she didn’t even put up a respectable fight, when he led her firmly by the hand into the cheap motel room he had premeditatedly rented with every intent of stealing from her, not only her virginity,, but her heart… 

***

as buzz lay there,, listening to the whoosh and beep of the machines to which jeannie was connected,, he couldn’t help but see that every bit of that sweet, innocent, little girl he had convinced to abandon her own dreams of becoming a public defender,, in favor of making a home for him and having his child,, remained not only intact,, but even more angelic..

he rolled his head back slowly onto his pillow and closed his eyes.. a single glistening tear slipped slowly, painstakingly, down the length of his cheek.. 

“what have  i done?” buzz demanded of himself,, as his torn, aching body convulsed in a deluge of uncontrollable tears.. tears of sincere, painful remorse that he found himself helplessly unable to suppress..