chapter 89

word count: 2302

while their first dinner out, ‘as a family’ was not everything john and lisa had hoped it would be,, it had for the most part gone well.. neither elliot nor erik had a lot to say to each other,, but there was no real visible animosity between them either.. they had both had fries and a shake,, both dipped their fries in their shake before they ate them , and both spent the majority of their time together sizing the other up.. 

erik, at eleven, was visibly older, and more physically mature than elliot.. he was involved in sports,, excelled in his studies,, and showed all the signs of self-confidence that came with a loving upbringing.. despite the fact that his parents had divorced few years earlier,, he had maintained a close and loving relationship with his mother,, and it was evident,, he had never been used as a weapon between his parents.. he had,, since the divorce,, spent alternate weekends with his father,, and even though his parents only interacted civilly in his best interest,, they did so.. 

whereas it was not initially clear to erik what exactly was different about elliot,, it was evident something was.. maybe it was the way he looked suspiciously out from under his dark fringe of bangs.. maybe it was the way he sat rigidly erect,, as if he was always on the ready to do battle.. maybe it was just the way,, that at seven years of age,, he looked and acted so much older,, despite his small stature.. 

whatever it was,, something about elliot just seemed to make erik a little nervous.. he was a kid,, and yet not a kid.. he was younger,, and smaller,, but somehow or another seemed to have erected huge walls around himself that seemed to make him somehow much older and wiser.. 

he wasn’t one of the fun loving,, goofy guys erik usually sought out as friends.. in fact,, erik couldn’t even imagine elliot smiling, let alone being goofy..  erik couldn’t help but wonder where the dark cloud of gloom that seemed to envelope elliot had come from,, but at the same time he could imagine there was a little boy in there somewhere,, and found himself wondering just what it would take to bring him out.. 

elliot on the other hand,, found himself surveying erik,, looking for weakness..  physically,, he was highly superior due to the age difference,, but he seemed so childlike,, almost as if someone had mixed up their ages,, and it was in fact erik who was only seven.. 

elliot looked on as erik sat relaxed,, elbows on the table,, long gangly arms and legs seemingly jutting out in every direction.. he easily involved himself in conversation with his mother,,  it was evident they were friends.. they laughed and joked between themselves comfortably,, as if it was something they always did.. and in elliots world,, something about that was weird.. the words ‘mama’s boy’ came to mind,, but even as he labeled him,, elliot was not so blind as to not see,, that something about that didn’t seem all that bad.. 

“so whadda ya say we take in a round of putt putt on the way home guys?? still plenty of daylight left,, wadda ya say we make good use of it??” john interjected as the meal was coming to a close.. 

if the truth be told,, he wanted to keep the boys on common ground,, give them a little more time to interact,, a little more time to possibly find something they had in common.. and well,, he just wasn’t ready to take lisa home and drop her off either..

he wasn’t ready to go home to the cold lonely shell that had been his home with trudy,, and something just felt wrong about the two of them spending the night at lisa’s,, and forcing the boys to double up in erik’s room.. 

elliot just peered out at john, giving him his usual blank stare from underneath his thick shaggy bangs. 

erik,, looked ultimately at his mom,, trying to read a yeah or nay in her facial expression.. 

lisa smiled warmly at him,, as erik shrugged his shoulders and smiled at her in return.. 

“i think that sounds like a wonderful idea!! we haven’t played putt put in like forever..  looks like it’s ok with me and erik,, what about you elliot,, sound good to you?” 

“whatever.”

knowing that this was as close to a positive response as they were going to get from elliot,, john seized the moment,, and the check,, and stood up.. 

“well,, come on then,, let’s get going!! daylights a wastin’!!” he sang out in cheerful invitation for the rest of them to join him,, and headed toward the cashier.. 

as they followed suit,, lisa tried to put a hand on elliot’s shoulder. 

“you’ll see,, it’ll be fun..” she said in her most convincing motherly tone,, as elliot stiffened under her touch,, and she quickly withdrew her hand,, not wanting to ruin any progress that was being made here by being overtly affectionate.. 

‘poor kid,’ lisa thought to herself.. it saddened her so, to see him so repulsed by human contact.. ‘what on earth has this poor little guy been through??’

“hey mom!” erik called out as he ran carelessly across the parking lot towards john’s waiting car,, turning a cartwheel or two along the way..  

“bet you can’t do that!!” 

lisa and john just looked at each other and laughed at his antics,, as elliot visibly suppressed the desire to prove erik wrong,, and do a few cartwheels himself..

***

as doctor travis let himself out of the miller home,, trudy and buzz remained in an embrace of defeat and despair.. 

trudy clutched tight to buzzes shoulders as she thought about how her own son had in essence been spirited away as well.. not by child protective services perhaps,, but rather by her hopefully soon to be ex-husband john.. 

ordinarily she would have allowed this thought to bring her ire to a boil and begin spouting off at the mouth about how that asshole was never gonna get her boy away from her,, not while he was keeping company with that little slut daughter of hank bowers anyway!! but the dismal air in the room subdued her,, and if only for a fleeting moment,, trudy realized,, this particular moment was not all about her.. 

for the first time ,, probably in her whole life,, trudy realized that this moment belonged to someone else.. this moment belonged to buzz,, and in order to keep him,, she was gonna have to help him through this.. 

for just a moment,, she allowed herself to imagine what life would be like,, just her and buzz,, no kids, no housekeepers,, no meddling ex-husbands,, just the two of them.. 

and it was then that it came to her!!! why of course!! doctor travis had said adam would have to remain in child protective services until a suitable foster home could be found!! why hadn’t she thought of this earlier!!

“buzz!! buzz honey,, i’ve got it!!”

“what?? you’ve got what??”

“a way we can hold onto adam,, while at the same time complying with the court order,, or doctors wishes or whatever it is that is trying to keep the two of you apart!!” trudy was so proud of herself,, for a moment even she forgot all about how bad she needed a drink..

“ugh!!” buzz sighed dejectedly,, still not being able to wrap his aching head around all of this.. 

trudy swung around and knelt before him.. she lifted his hanging head in her hands,, and kissed him hard on the mouth.. buzz looked up at her,, mind still reeling,, but willing to listen.. 

“well,, you know how my john has decided to set up housekeeping with hank bowers little slut of a daughter?”

“c’mon trudy,, is it necessary to bring all of that up right now!! i’ve got real problems on my hands..” buzz said in a tone inflected with disgust.. 

“no, no!! now hear me out!!!” trudy bellowed,, the sound of her own voice ringing ever so much too loudly in her head.. 

“that’s the answer!! don’t ya get it?? john and lisa?? hank will help us!! we can get john and lisa to take adam in!! they’ve already got my elly,, and him and adam are best friends!! don’t ya see sweetie?? it is the answer to our prayers?? the only way we can both keep a hold of both of our boys,, and not have to wonder about where or how they are!!” trudy admired the brilliance of her plan as she excitedly explained it to buzz.. 

buzz thought about it for a minute.. “you think they would?”

“of course they would!!!” trudy joyously assured him.. 

they had too.. it was the only way..

“i guess it is worth a try..”  buzz seemed to perk up as the possibility set in.. 

“but right now i need a fucking drink,, my head is gonna explode!!”

trudy searched the room for anything that was left in any of the discarded bottles.. nothing.. 

it was then that the light went on!! she had stashed a pint of vodka in the freezer before they got started in earnest,, so that they would have a little something left over for the morning.. 

“you just wait right here baby,, your trudy is on a roll this morning!!” she sang out as she sashayed her way to the kitchen.. 

trudy grabbed the icy bottle out of the freezer,, took a long cold pull off the vodka bottle,, and then made her way back into the living room.. 

“look what mama’s got for her boy!! just what the doctor ordered!!”

“doctor!!! i think i’ve had enough doctoring for one morning!!” buzz cried out clearly annoyed..

“gimme that!!” he shouted as he ripped the bottle from trudy’s extended hand.. 

“and just sit down and shut up for a minute, will ya?? you’re giving me a fucking headache!!”

now that pissed trudy off.. who the hell did he think he was talking to?? that little wimpy little bitch he had called his wife??

she watched as buzz took a deep slug of the vodka.. as soon as it was clear of his mouth she swiped the bottle back from him.. 

“fuck you!!” she screamed at the top of her lungs,, as she attempted to run across the living room with the open bottle in her tight little fist.. 

“who the hell do you think you’re talking…”

with that buzz came crashing down on her from behind.. he grabbed her by the throat and tried to extricate the icy bottle of vodka from trudy's firm grasp.. as he did so,, the bottle went flying across the room and smashed head long in the wall at the entrance to the hallway.. 

“you fucking bitch!!” he screamed out at her in a tone of voice trudy had never heard him use before..

buzz wrestled her to the floor,, hand still firmly around her throat,, and jumped on top of her,, holding her arms down with his knees.. he brought his free hand down hard,, like a clap of thunder  on the left side of trudy’s face..

as trudy wrestled to get free,, buzz watched the once rosy tinted skin of trudy’s cheekbone turn dark and swell up instantly right before his eyes..

“get off me you mother fucker!!” trudy screamed,, as buzz involuntarily loosened his grip on her throat,, and  eased his legs back off her arms.. 

she flailed underneath is weight,, kicking and scratching until she realized that buzz had collapsed in tears on her chest,, and was no longer forcibly holding her down..  

trudy’s heart softened as she felt the heaving of buzzes chest against her stomach,, and felt the warmth of his tears on her breast.. 

“aw, baby,, c’mere.” she nuzzled him closer,, and held him tight.. 

“what a fucking morning!” trudy couldn’t help exclaiming to herself as she lay trapped to the floor under buzzes oppressive weight..  it was ok though.. she had him.. he was where he was supposed to be.. and she had a plan.. a plan that would not only secure a place for both of their boys,, but cement her relationship with buzz.. he was gonna owe her after today.. after she fixed it up for him and adam.. 

she helped roll buzz onto his back,, and nestled into the crook of his shoulder.. for a moment she closed her eyes,, and let her thoughts drift to how all of this was just gonna bring them closer.. she made deliberate purring noises as she laid there snuggled up to him,, and he tightened his embrace.. 

when she finally opened her eyes,, and saw the dark purple swelling that had progressed from her cheekbone and now enveloped the soft flesh that surrounded her left eye in the reflection of the tv screen,,  a strange feeling of pride welled up in her chest.. 

look what he had done to her?? her buzz.. she tightened her grip on him and buried herself deep into his chest.. her buzz indeed.. she wore his mark.. it was kind of like he owned her now.. like she belonged to him.. and as sick as that might have sounded had she verbalized it,, it was strangely comforting at the same time.. 

trudy lay still,, as buzzes breathing returned to normal,, and she felt his embrace loosen around her shoulder.. he was drifting off to sleep.. 

he was gonna need a bottle when he woke up,, and trudy was only to proud to run up to the corner store  and get it for him.. 

it would give her a chance to show off her new medal of honor..